grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
