What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
