oh god the rape fog is back!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
