Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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