I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
