dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
