Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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