I wanna passion pit in your ass
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
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You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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