Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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