what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
