are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
