I wish i was in the wii world.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
