I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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