In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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