we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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