Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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