I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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