Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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