SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
