My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
