were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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