Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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