Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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