Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
