think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
