Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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