Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
