I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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