It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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