fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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