Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize