McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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