your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize