I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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