Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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