I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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