By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh god it's open bar.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
