I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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