Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
