no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
