Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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