Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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