I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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