More tranny stories later!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
