i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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