your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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