Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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