Umm I'm too high to move.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
