What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
