I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
smell my finger.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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