Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
