Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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