I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
