Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
