mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
