I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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