He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
