I wish i was in the wii world.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
