Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
