apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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