I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
