Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
