After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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