Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
