Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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